Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Who Wants a Mastectomy?

Now, I now you're all saying, "Pick me!Pick me!" but unfortunately, only those of us with rare cancers get to have needles poked into our breasts and scanned by a Geiger counter before having them removed.
Did I say, "RARE CANCER"?
The early diagnosis of ductal carcinoma turned out to be incorrect. 90% of breast cancers are ductal carcinoma which is why everyone thought mine was too but they forgot to factor in my Super Duper Specialness. It is because of this SDS that I have the rare sort of cancer called invasive lobular carcinoma - also because "lobular" is funnier than "ductal" - so it's a better fit for me. On top of the new cancer diagnosis it turns out the lymph nodes that were removed did have cancer cells present. On top of all of this there was a second tumor a couple inches away from the original tumor - lobular carcinoma is typically "bifocal" so it isn't unusual to find more than one tumor. The final bad news is that after my surgery I sent David and Dr. Bearg on a hunt to try and find the missing breast so we could look at it and even with Dr. Bearg's extensive credentials as both a doctor and sneaky guy they just couldn't locate it.
Speaking of mastectomy let me assure you it is a highly overrated surgery. I'm a cancer charlatan because I'm not laid up at all and I get delicious free food delivered to my door. I don't have to go to work but they send me flowers. And I am encouraged to eat a giant tub of pudding every day. I am defnitely getting more than one boob's worth of goods. I can't understand why other women have such a hard time with this? I suppose ultimately it's just another example of women who are completely tied up in their bodies. I'm sure someone, somewhere is writing a thesis on this so I'll let them handle the cultural phenomenon of feeling sad over getting rid of a diseased part of one's body. I'm saving my tears for chemo - you should too.
Thank you to everyone who stopped by, sent flowers, sent cards, called, e-mailed or thought of me in a positive way. Your enthusiam and my A+ blood is what makes my outlook bright!

Well, once again with a less-than-rosy-outlook, you have the attitude of Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman was always an inspiration to me - I think it was the sequin tights and classy boots. You're got much more goin' on than sequin tights and hot boots and that's why we love you so. Keep your spirits high and we'll see you very soon -- we love you!!

This is luba, I am trying to add an event to your calendar but my pea-sized brain can't figure it out, anyway BE ON THE LOOK OUT: Fri Aug 18, Planet Organics will delivery groceries to your house compliments of Tides. We miss you, get healthy and come back to work!
How soon can we all work for companies like Tides?!? And be like Wonder Woman?
If I wasn't caught in web of Catholicism, I would be an honorary student of the late J. Krishnamurti. He was not a pronounced guru, yet a simple man with brilliant vision who used his intellect without haste during his time on this earth. His words always stuck with me and I would be living in Ojai right this minute if I weren't so whipped by modern society.

I say to my sister Susan in his pseudo-proverbial words,
"Experience is one thing, and experiencing is another. Experience is a barrier to the state of experiencing. However pleasant or ugly the experience, it prevents the flowering of experiencing. Experience is already in the net of time, it is already in the past, it has become a memory which comes to life only as a response to the present. Life is the present, it is not the experience.......there cannot be the experiencing of the unknown until the mind ceases to experience."

So in layman terms, I think my good friend Krishnamurti is trying to say, "Cancer Schmancer"!!!

I've sat myself down in a moment of quietude to spew a few words once I allowed my "birdbrain" to run amuck the moment I was told about my sister and this alleged "cootie" syndrome.(denial is a beautiful thing!)
A sonnett or poem just wouldn't suffice. I call this one,....
(by brigid kelly, aka brigid chacon)
"sincerity, morose, happiness, somber, reluctance, pure love, regression, transformation, cynicism, fear, freedom, closeness, heartache, bewilderment, escape, spirit, pain, suffering, joy, elation, letting go of tears, strength, need, artists, fortune, fame, truth, gaining, losing, light, darkness, loneliness, speculation, introspection, friendship, thinking, thought, feelings, one with yourself, God, hearts, religion, being, crucifixion, sentimentality, sound, smell, touch, hearing, comforting, war, strife, ocean, calmness, devastation, hunger, solitude, breathing, coldness, bitterness, hatred, kisses, sharing, making love, bonding, children, family, fuzzy pets, mountains, future, money, life, death, dying, reborn."

I just want to truly thank Susan's friends and extended family that have been there for her while some of her family cannot be due to varying factors. The friends I know thus far are Amelia, Huck and Amy, Erin (who so graciously drove my husband Billy and I to the Oakland airport), Austin, Johannah, Rebecca, Emily, Connie and Dr. Bearg (who in my amnesia state thought he was Austin the nanny!) and whomever else has joined the ranks of domestic duties and then some for my sister. I met another friend of Susan's and I cannot remember her name off hand, but she came by the day Billy and I were leaving for the airport. Oops! She was very pretty with blonde hair and I'm sorry I have this amnesia thing going on right now! Any who, thank you as well for being so kind to Susan!

This may be the longest post to a posting of a comment yet, but hey, I'm a true "Kelly".....I love to talk!

Also, big loving arms of hugs to my brother-in-law David who has graced the storm so far with valiant charm! Oh! Of course....and to my beautiful nieces who were absent at home and were vacationing in Michigan and Canada to give Sue a good and
well-needed break after her surgery!

The long road ahead may not be easy, but I know Susan, my sister, is a true Leo at heart and will conquer those little

Peace Out ~
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